WHAT I LEARNED IN COSTA RICA
Life presents opportunities for learning in so many ways. Two weeks ago I had the good fortune to spend a week in Costa Rica with two of my colleagues from the Positive Workplace Alliance. We’re a group of Authentic Happiness Coaches from around the world who meet virtually twice a month to talk about how we can help more companies create more happiness. You might say we’re a virtual study group.
I was asked to observe and participate in a three-day program on creating sustainable competitive advantage by embracing the tools we’ve created from the latest developments in Positive Psychology. I know it sounds nerdy – but it’s really very cool. Imagine knowing how to deliberately create well being at work – how to get more optimistic, how to deal with conflict in a healthy way. You’ve got to admit that’s cool.
We worked with twenty four young project managers. (All young enough to be our offspring.) In the course of the week, I learned a lot about them and myself. So to follow my own tradition here of sharing my conference learnings with you, herewith are the “keepers” from this trip.
* Young people today don’t want to managed, they want to be engaged and challenged.
* Young people today value their time with family and friends and they want to have some control over their work and schedule so they can spend time with them.
* Young people today are bright, curious and talented. They work best when expectations are clear and they get feedback and direction. They want to know the ‘big picture’ and the part they play in making it happen.
*Everyone blossoms and feels good when we learn to listen for each other’s strengths and goodness.
*Its great fun and enormously helpful to understand more about yourself and others using the same framework (we used the Myers Briggs Personality Typing tool to do that.) I am SO my type.
*The “What’s right?” (vs. the “What’s wrong?) approach of Appreciative Inquiry is a little awkward for people at first. But in a short while it reveals its benefits as the energy level rises for more solutions oriented approach.
*We tend to move towards the stuff we talk about the most.
* Two-thirds of the abilities necessary for effective performance are emotional competencies and we spend too little time in business talking them and understanding how to get them to work in our favor. Because so many companies are so ‘illiterate’ in the emotional aspects of business enough people are disengaged to cost our US economy about a trillion dollars a year. What a waste!
* Change is a process, and even if we know that (I do) we forget it regularly. We cycle through its stages several times before it’s complete.
* We all have stories we tell ourselves about every situation we find ourselves in. For the last two weeks I’ve been more aware of mine and ask myself frequently. ‘What’s the story I’m telling myself about this?” It’s a fascinating habit and I am learning a lot about myself.
Last, and most definitely not the least of what I learned was a powerful lesson about motivation and self-talk. Let me explain.
Several years ago I saw pictures of the son of a friend of mine who was visiting Costa Rica and did something called zip lining http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zipline It looked like so much fun (but not the sort of fun I had because I don’t like heights at all, and I’m a bit of a “scaredy cat” when it comes to outdoor activities involving helmets.) I told myself that someday I would try that.
Every time I thought of it, I thought of how it might feel to be a hundred feet above the ground sipping around through the trees like the monkeys. I thought about how free it would feel. (If you’ve attended my teleclasses on motivation you’ll remember that we motivate ourselves using our memory or our imagination.)
As luck would have it, my colleagues had a client meeting on Monday and magically, I had a free day to myself, so I signed up for a “Canopy Tour” and off I went. Shaking, nauseous, and terrified I went up into the jungle to do the thing that fascinated and scared me the most. Could I fly? Would I wimp out? Would I die?
All the way up the mountain I made small talk with the others in the van, not giving my imagination the chance to register the fear that was rampant in my body, but oh my goodness, I was scared. “I can do this” I thought, over and over and over again.
Once the van dropped us off and we hiked to the first platform I really felt the significance of what I had done. I was challenging myself to get beyond the fear. Not to act despite the fear (which is what I had to do for the first three lines I traveled) but to get beyond the fear.
Fortunately for me, there was a woman from Seattle there with her husband and family and Mona was really adventurous. Her sheer joy and excitement were contagious. There was also a gentleman there, whose name I don’t know that was as afraid – or perhaps more afraid than I was. The contrast was stunning. Mona saw this as a joyful adventure and this gentleman focused only on the fear.
After we’d finished the first three zip lines I became very conscious of the options I had. Here we were about 100 feet up in the trees and deep in the rainforest – there was no escape latter, no exit sign and no helicopters coming to get us. How I experienced the rest of my time was up to me – in fear or in joy. I knew that whatever emotion I focused on I would get more of. I took one look at Mona (who by now was doing the zip lines upside down) and chose JOY! I put a smile on my face, burst out laughing, reminded myself that I was strong, fit, balanced (thanks to yoga) and determined to come home with a happy ending.
The next line I did, I opened my mouth and belted out in my most powerful voice “Yahoooooooooooooooo!”
The learning – magnificent! I have the power, in the moment, to choose how I will feel. That day in the rainforest I chose to feel strong and powerful and have some fun, and I did.
Today I got my copy of Monday Morning Motivation and was astounded at the synchronicity of the message. The insight was “The power is in the present” and the self talk was “I have the power to change right now, one choice at a time. I create my world with my thinking.”
Pure magic.
JoAnna
